Finally, high-speed Internet is coming to rural America, and to hear the Obama Administration tell it, not a minute too soon. Rural America has fallen into a communication abyss, but don’t worry the Government is here to help, and it’s only going to cost 4 billion dollars.

In a press release dated July 1, 2009, the USDA announced that Vice-President Biden will be passing out money like candy on a tour to celebrate broadband coming to rural America. We’re saved!!! There’s just one teeny little problem: we already have high-speed Internet access in rural America. Have for years.

Our farm is one mile out of town, and we are the last place that can get DSL. But because I’m a professional blogger, writer, and Web developer, I need to have constant access to high-speed Internet. So, in addition to my land-based high-speed service, I have an AT&T broadband card. Others in my area choose high-speed satellite. It’s not we don’t have access to modern communication technology; the problem isn’t even the cost. The truth be told, it doesn’t cost me any more for my AT&T broadband card than it does for my DSL. When I talk to my friends and relatives who live in urban areas, they tell me their DSL and AT&T broadband access cost exactly the same as mine. We also agree that DSL is more reliable than wireless broadband and satellite access. So why do we need to spend 4 billion to solve a problem that doesn’t exist?

I’ll concede that broadband and satellite Internet access present problems: dropped service on cloudy days, interrupted service during peak access times, and intermittent slow connections. Yes, these do affect the online experience of rural users, but news flash people, even DSL users report slow connections and dropped service. It happens, not because of where we live, but because of poor technology. And that’s where the Government comes in; they’re going to improve rural communications technology so our service is as unreliable as it is in urban areas. (I think it’s supposed to be considered an upgrade.)  According to Vice President Biden:

Today’s announcement is a first step toward realizing President Obama’s vision of a nationwide 21st century communications infrastructure – one that encourages economic growth, enhances America’s global competitiveness, and helps address many of America’s most pressing challenges.

There it is in a nut shell folks: this isn’t about improving communications technology; it’s about fulfilling President Obama’s vision. Not once does the Vice President mention the benefits to rural America, because it isn’t about us either. Rural broadband is a myth, the sanguine longing of Utopian elitists who believe rural people are ignorant. Once again, a Government program aimed at rural America won’t benefit us, but should bolster the political careers of more than a few political types in D.C, and at only 4 billion, it’s a steal. Someone’s getting robbed alright.

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