• Keep a can of wasp spray handy. This product is designed to spray a stream of harsh chemicals up to 15ft. It’s less expensive than pepper spray, and just as effective if aimed at the intruder’s face.
• Buy a cattle prod. Stun guns are illegal in some states. Cattle prods aren’t. Granted, you have to get closer to use it than with a stun gun, but if you have to use it, I promise it will incapacitate the intruder.
• Buy a cordless staple gun. You don’t need a license. Keep it charged and keep it loaded. If you start shooting nails or staples at an intruder, they’ll get the message in a hurry.
• Get an air horn. When used in a closed environment, this device can disorient an intruder, giving you time to wallop him/her with your cast-iron frying pan.
• Keep a loaded paintball gun handy. It won’t kill anyone, but those little balls of paint fired at close range can put a real hurting on an unsuspecting intruder.

Regardless of how you choose to protect yourself, your family, and your property, have a plan. Run through the worst-case scenario in your head a couple of times so you know where your “weapon” is. If you have children, and they are old enough to participate in a safety drill without becoming terrified, practice with them so they know what they can use as a weapon and how to properly use it.  Be safe out there people.

1. If you don’t pickle cucumbers the same day you pick them, they won’t turn out right. Give me a break. Pick your cucumbers when they’re the size you like them. If you don’t have enough to do a couple of jars, wash and store them in the refrigerator until the next picking. When it’s time to start the pickling process, let the cukes sit at room temperature for a few hours, and then proceed.
2. You have to add lemon juice or vinegar to your tomatoes. Who told you that? People have been canning tomatoes without lemon juice or vinegar for nearly two-hundred years. While there are always new trends in home-canning, all you really need for tomatoes is a little salt and a covered hot-water bath.
3. Dehydrating food requires a lot of preparation. Not true. In fact, drying is most often the easiest, fastest, and least messy of the processing methods. Corn, onions, celery, apples, and a host of other fruits and vegetables can go from garden to dehydrator with nothing more than a quick rinse and a little chopping.
4. You can’t do anything with zucchini. Sure you can. Grate your giant zucchini and freeze it. Wait until winter and make a chocolate zucchini cake or bread. Nothing brings back summer memories in the dead of winter like a warm slice of zucchini cake.
5. It takes too much time to process my own food. Like anything else you do, you’ll get better the more you do it. You’ll learn how to tweak recipes and add your own flavor to the food you preserve. Practice makes perfect, and with a little practice, you’ll be able to whip out dozens of jars of jam and salsa in no time at all.

Don’t let the experts scare you. Sometime preserving your own food isn’t pretty. Sometimes you’ll mess it up. (Like the time I destroyed a crock pot when I forgot to turn off the apple butter, but didn’t discover my mistake for 2 days.) But after you’ve done it a couple of times, you’ll be your own expert—which is the only expert you should listen to.

Sometimes,  I have to talk myself into doing things, even pleasant things. So, if you have to win an argument with yourself in order to get up and go outside, here are a few talking points that should help you squelch any objections from your stubborn side:

1. Going outside stimulates creativity. The change in light can actually stimulate your thinking process.
2. Going outside can help you lose weight. The fresh air invigorates your nervous system, giving you an energy boost.
3. Going outside can improve your sense of humor. Take a look around. Does Mother Nature have a sense of humor or what? Seriously, have you ever seen a toad? Funniest-looking thing alive.
4. Going outside improves your memory. It’s the vitamin D that comes from the sun that scientists believe stimulates the section of our brains that control memory.
5. Going outside has a calming effect. Just a ten-minute walk can take the edge off of a bad day much better than any prescription mood lifter.

So, on this beautiful day, when I’m staring at a hard deadline, a Torts class that I’m totally unprepared for, and a new website that needs my attention, I’m going outside to dig onions, pick cucumbers, and soak up a few rays. Just try and stop me.

Think about it. What are the chances of a couple of dozen of farm-raised eggs sickening people in 27 states? Zero. It’s almost impossible for eggs from a local farmer’s market to travel thousands of miles. In fact, locally grown food travels only a minute part of the distance as commercial food, and is handled by far fewer people. Once again, we see how a bloated government agency fails to do they job they tell the American people they’ll do.  I think I’m going to be sick, and from the eggs my neighbors Ann and Roger bring me. Rather, the Useless Department of Agriculture has turned my stomach.

You know, you can go to jail for selling unlicensed eggs. I wonder  who’s going to jail for sickening thousands of people with licensed eggs? Hmmm.

1. The Hollywood Habit. Someone told me they paid upwards of $10 a head to see the latest mind-numbing “hit” from Hollywood. I can’t imagine parting with my hard-earned money to see anything Hollywood puts out. Ever. All commercial entertainment in this country comes with an agenda. Why pay a bunch of millionaire ideologues for the privilege of being dumbed down? Instead, learn to appreciate the value free activities offer.
2. Going Out to Eat. Why? Anyone who has any respect for themselves at all will avoid commercial eateries at all cost. The food, if that’s a term you’re comfortable using, is contaminated with chemicals and has been handled by hordes of people, many of whom have questionable hygiene routines. Why would you pay good money for nasty food? Instead, learn to cook for yourself. You won’t catch me dropping money at places like Red Lobster or McDonald’s. I don’t do chemical-laden food that comes from China and Mexico. Ick.
3. Buying pre-packaged food. I can’t tell you how many of my “green” friends throw their money away by buying pre-packaged organic food. Sure it’s trendy, and for many of these folks it gives them an opportunity for moral self-licensing, but packaging is still packaging, processing is still processing, and politically correct food is way more expensive than it needs to be. Instead, buy in bulk, grow what you can of your own, and learn to eat sustainably—you’ll find it’s cheaper, and much better tasting. Packaging of any sort makes the food taste funny.
4. Sending your kids to public school. The average family spends $600 per child to get ready for the school year. Add to that all the “fundraisers” that nickle and dime tax-paying parents to death, and the number triples or quadruples. Instead of buying cheap, foreign made clothes and supplies at the big box store, and throwing money down the fundraiser black hole, consider homeschooling or parochial school. These options allow you, the parent, to make sure you’re not paying a public employee to indoctrinate your children. Not only do public schools cost and arm and a leg, they co-opt your values and supplant them with the liberal sectarian doctrine that passes as morality in this country. And in the end, there’s no guarantee your child won’t be killed, bullied, raped, or otherwise assaulted in a public school.
5. Discount stores. Stay out of them. Rarely if ever do they offer any real value. What can you get for a dollar? Nothing that is well-built or useful. Instead, find a couple of second-hand stores and shop there. Besides being much less expensive, buying previously owned items is the one thing everyone can do to save the environment. Recycle and reuse. You’ll get a better value, and you’ll feel better about yourself knowing that soon, you’ll be debt-free.

It can be hard to change your lifestyle from going along with the crowd, dropping a ton of cash on movies and video games, and trying to live like everyone else. When the going gets tough, and it will, remember, your neighbors are in debt up to their teeth. They keep running around the debt wheel, spending money like crazy for the privilege of fitting in. Ask yourself, who wants to fit in with a bunch of people who don’t have the good sense to get out of debt and stay out? Don’t try to keep up with the Jones. They’re going nowhere, and fast.