In the current issue of Countryside (Sept./Oct. 2010) I discuss the ridiculous amounts of money tied up in the food stamp, low-income nutrition racket. While it took awhile, the government has finally decided it is going to do for the rural community what it has done for the urban community. They’re going to throw millions upon millions of taxpayer dollars at “poor” rural communities to help establish (read: nationalize) grocery stores. Ostensibly, this move is to help combat rural obesity. I guess since the effort has failed miserably in the urban community, they’ll try it here just to say they did. Here’s my prediction: the nanny state will spend millions of your hard-earned dollars over the next decade, and NOTHING will change. The obesity rate will rise, not decline. People will still abandon small, expensive stores for cheaper big box stores, and the government will continue to blame everyone but themselves for unhealthy state of affairs.

Some of you may remember that a group of us in my small town (population 898) tried to start a farmer’s market, only to be told by the State of Wisconsin that we need hundreds of dollars worth of permits, insurance, and State-approved electronic scales. Care to guess what happened to the proposed market? The State interference killed it. Proof positive that the government isn’t interested in healthy food or access to it. The only reason they want to establish more state-funded grocery stores is to make sure the food processing and packaging industries continue to thrive. If everyone stopped buying pre-packaged unhealthy foods, it would destroy what is left of our economy.

You can read my article, “At the end of my rope,” in the current issue, which will be on the news stands on September first. Rural people don’t need the government to feed us. Rather, we need the government to quit controlling our food.

I’ve had a change of heart. There was a time when I refused to take any government handouts. We own an organic dairy farm, and because I’m a member of a legally protected class (female), the government has funds available to help poor little ol’ me out. There’s also taxpayer money available just for practicing sustainable farming, something we have always done. (We were “green” long before Al Gore and Michael Moore showed up on the scene.) But my former convictions that sucking off the government was somehow immoral and belittling were wrong. I’m going to take every last dime I’m “entitled” to. In our case, we are “entitled” to over $5,000 every year for doing absolutely nothing.

Why the change of heart? Why not? According to our local and national government officials, taking the money helps keep people employed; it creates jobs just like unlimited welfare or unemployment benefits. Taking government money is the patriotic thing to do. After all, I want to help the economy recover.

Do I need the money? Nope, but need isn’t a criteria. Any farmer, even corporate animal product producers, can get free government money. In fact, the worse you manage your farm, the more money you get. Sweet deal, huh? Besides, I’m “entitled.”

So, we’ve decided to take full advantage of the tens of thousands of taxpayer dollars available to us. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Good advice, and in case you haven’t notice, we can’t beat them. The government continues to spend wildly, passing one entitlement bill after the other, and so far no one has even been able to slow them down, let alone stop them. In light of the new feel-good government spending, I’ve adopted another motto more in step with the current Administration’s: spend it all—let God sort it out.

The only way to put a stop to this irresponsible spending spree is for everyone of us to set aside our pride and get in line for the government money. They’ll run out sooner than later, and only then will the spending stop. If people refuse to take the free handouts, it only prolongs the inevitable economic collapse. Apparently, the objective is to collapse the system. I might as well do my part.

I was invited to attend a meeting at my local library to discuss the possibility of starting a farmers market in our little town of 898. The lady doing the organizing is part of an organization that wants to combat obesity. Sounds good, huh?

We met at the library. It was a small gathering, with a three growers, the gal from the anti-fat group, and the manager of a large farmers market in the next town over. It was all sugar cookies and love for the first half-hour. This could work. Then, just as we were talking about how unique our farmers market would be, the other shoe fell and squashed our hopes into a slimy mass of ooze. There was a contract and a fee involved, of course.

The contract required that each farmer carry a one-million-dollar liability policy at the cost of $250 a year. Then, there was a list of restrictions and terms giving the market manager the authority to remove produce they deem unfit and limiting what items farmers could sell. Only a small percentage of merchandise could be handmade crafts. No live animals like chicks and no selling farm fresh eggs allowed. The list went on for two pages describing what farmers could and couldn’t do. To date, no one has signed it. Who would?

Some of you may know that I’m attending law school, and after looking at the proposed contract, it dawned on me that anyone selling a farmers market or running a CSA should have disclaimer for their customers to sign. I’m not kidding. If someone buys a tomato from you and gets a bad case of heartburn or slips on the tomato and decides to sue you, you could lose big time. That’s the world we live in. There aren’t enough obstacles to getting fresh, unprocessed food; some think we need another road block.

While I’m not a lawyer yet, I highly recommend having your customers sign something that indemnifies you. (How do you like that fancy schmancy lawyer talk?) I’m drawing up my own consent and release statement. It goes something like this:

You, the customer, agree to hold me, the farmer and seller, wholly blameless for any and all adversities that may befall you from buying and eating produce and other products from my farm. While we take painstaking steps to ensure the cleanliness of what we grow (unlike corporate spinach growers and dairy producers), you acknowledge that there is an inherent risk in consuming anything. Sign and date here or I won’t sell you a damn thing.

I leave you with a question. How can anyone hope to combat obesity when the people who grow and sell fresh produce are hog-tied by rules and regulations?