The drought in north central Wisconsin is over. It lasted for five long years. It was horrible. But, have you ever noticed that sometimes the cure is worse than the illness? Such is the case here in my neck of the woods. While we are all grateful to have a normal year, we have also forgotten just how wet it is here in the north during a “normal” year.

With all the water, well over six-inches according to our rain gauge, things are lush, or as we’re starting to call it–soggy. The difference between the two is wholly a one of context. Everything was lush when the rains first began and we were all thankful for the relief, but now that we’re no longer parched, it’s just plain old soggy.

We can’t get into the field to combine the oats, half of which are laying on the ground, and a good part of them not ripe. This year’s oat crop will probably be a total loss. The hard red spring wheat, however, is doing just fine. If we ever get a few dry days, we’ll have tons of wheat to grind and share.

Our garden is soaked. I need to dig potatoes, but it’s just too mushy. I did mange to pull some weeds in the pole beans during a break in the rain the other day. Unfortunately, it was so wet that a few beans came with the grass. That’s the hazards of weeding when wet.

It’s also hard on the cows and the pasture. When it’s soaked to capacity Wayne is hesitant to let the cows out on the pastures for more than a few hours. We don’t want the weight of twenty cows to compact the wet soil, forcing what little oxygen is left in it out into the atmosphere. It kills the grass. It’s expensive grass.

So, that’s the rain report. I’m not complaining. I would just like the rain to take a break. I don’t want to chase it away completely. That’s what it has come to here. I’m worried about offending the rain’s sensibilities. I think it’s called being stir crazy.

“These are so good. I love butterbeans,” even though it may have been hard to make out through a mouthful of ham and beans, that’s what my teenage daughter was saying as she stood over the stove picking at the leftovers.

I agree they are good. So good in fact, a song was warranted. In 1983 the band The B-52’s sang, “Some people are fat, some people are lean. But I want you to show me the person who doesn’t like butterbeans Yay!”

“If we had to buy these from the store I would eat them right out of the can,” this time through a mouthful of butterbeans and fresh whole wheat bread.

Well, probably not. You see when butter beans are sold in a can they are usually called something else, specifically Lima beans.

“What?” This was news to her but I thought she was old enough to know.

“You know I HATE Lima beans.” She mustered every ounce of teenage angst she could and stormed off to her room.

Of course, she doesn’t hate Lima beans; she’s been eating them since she’s been on solid food. Her aversion to Lima’s began in kindergarten when a friend came for a sleepover. The little girl didn’t want to eat supper because she didn’t like Lima beans. I assured her we only used butte rbeans at our house. She had seconds.

Somewhere along the way Lima beans were maligned, put in the same category with cooked spinach and cod liver oil. As a result this versatile and hearty shell bean began to disappear from American gardens. Today these plants remain a rarity but are certainly worth considering.

Lima beans are easy to grow. They are available in bush and vine types. Both do well in moist soils where the ph is above 5. However, bush limas mature earlier than the vine type making them the better choice for the upper Midwest.

Seeds should be sown outdoors when the ground temperature is at least sixty five degrees, sometime in late May in our area. Planting lima bean seed when the ground is too cool will result in high seed mortality and poor plant vitality.

Plant bush limas in rows which are spaced eighteen to twenty four inches apart, just like you would for any type bush bean. In the rows I like to plant two seeds about a foot apart. This way I usually don’t have to thin.

Lima beans must be watered sufficiently or the pods will not fill out. Check weekly during the growing cycle to make sure the soil is moist by scratching the surface near the plant.

Limas can be harvested in summer when they are still green or can be left to dry until the snow flies. Truth be told, I’ve left them out until late winter. I can often be found in my garden in the dead of winter picking dried lima beans.

Lima beans are a member of the kidney bean family. There are varieties to suit every gardener’s palette. One of my favorite is the Christmas Lima. While this is a pole type it does surprising well here. It produces wonderful white lima beans with red speckles. These beans make a wonderful holiday gift. Everyone loves to eat Christmas Lima beans.

Of course, if you are giving them as gifts you’ll have to drop the Lima part or risk being put on the bad gift giver list. Just tell people you grew Christmas beans for them and they’ll be thrilled.

Another variety that grows well in the north is the Henderson Bush Lima. This is an heirloom bush variety available through catalogs that carry heritage seed. I like this variety best because it can take a beating from the elements and still produce. It tolerates heat, doesn’t fall apart in thunderstorms and seems to be unaffected by most pests.

The Lima bean is making a comeback in America’s gardens, slowly but surely. It is a wonderful addition to any garden and deserves a second look from today’s growers.

A thunderstorm rolled by the other afternoon while I was on the phone with a friend. I mentioned, rather gleefully, that the storm I had hoped for had arrived.

My friend, who lives only a few miles west of me, lamented, “That’s not fair, it’s not raining here.”

I assured her that it was most equitable since I had made several sacrifices to the rain gods to get some precipitation. I had purposely left two dry loads of laundry hanging on the line; I purposely left the windows in my van down, and I left my freshly shaken rugs outside. This technique had limited results, only two- tenths of an inch. But it was better than nothing, so I tried to be grateful.

My friend’s interest was stirred. She was going to try this method— maybe she could get some much needed rain for her garden. I wasn’t impressed with the amount of rain my latest technique produced, so I suggested a couple of others that have brought spectacular results for me and my neighbors in the past:

1. Throw an outdoor birthday party for a six-year old. Invite everyone from his or her class since they are surely bored will appreciate a good outdoor party. Make sure to invite at least two children with severe ADD. It helps immensely if one of them has forgotten to take their medication. Tell parents the kids can stay all day, no hurry in picking them up. Have everyone bring a swimsuit and towel. Include loads of fun activities like water balloon fights, a splash pool, water guns, and a monster birthday cake with extra frosting. For this method to work properly, you must invite ten more children than you can fit into your home. Doing this correctly will result in a severe thunderstorm every time, with copious amounts of driving rain and hellish thunder to thoroughly terrify the twenty or so six-year olds screaming and sobbing in the basement while the hyperactive kids play with the fuse box and hot water heater.
2. Hold a family reunion at your house. In an effort to show what an excellent and gracious host you are, be sure to invite every relative no matter how distant. Be generous and allow your relation to pitch tents and park campers in your yard. No need for anyone to pay for a hotel. Assure your spouse there won’t be any inconvenience—it’s not like they’ll be in the house. They’ll be outside the whole time. This method works really well if the cousin who stole the uncle’s wife shows up drunk with his new girlfriend and a keg of beer in tow. Precise adherence to this process will bring about intense storms during the day and a whole evening of wild weather, guaranteeing that fifty relatives will be spending the night with you and your very annoyed spouse, huddling in your unfinished basement with no electricity and nothing to drink but the drunken cousin’s cheap beer. You should get a fair amount of rain from this technique, but your spouse will never want to see your extended family again.
3. Have a large formal wedding, one with a Victorian theme so every one of the thirty women in the bridal party has on ridiculously expensive gowns and horribly uncomfortable shoes with really high heels. The church should have many steep steps and no handrails to make this work correctly. Make sure that parking is scarce so when the deluge begins just as the ceremony ends, the invited guests have to run for blocks in their pricey dry-clean-only clothes before reaching their cars. This method has been known to spawn hurricanes, monsoons, and tidal waves. Use it at your own peril.

If none of the afore mentioned techniques works, watering is in order. Of course if you’ve been holding off on watering because it might rain, I can almost guarantee that the second you’re done untangling the hose, attaching the leaky sprinkler, and stretching it as far as humanly possible so it reaches everything in your garden—it’ll rain.