I saw Miss Emma Barker heading down the driveway at a pretty good clip. Sure, it was odd to see the old Doberman moving that fast, but after all, she is a Doberman, so at first, I didn’t think much of it. From where I was standing in the milkhouse, I couldn’t see more than a couple of feet beyond the door. If I would have turned away  a split second sooner, I would have missed Shorty in hot pursuit of Emma. Shorty is our bull. We bought him las fall after learning our artificial insemination provider wasn’t producing the results we wanted. Apparently, Shorty doesn’t like Miss Emma Barker, not even a little bit. He didn’t much like the clothes on the line, the fuel tank, or three round bales sitting nearby either.

This is the first trouble we’ve had with Shorty. He’s a Milking Shorthorn, with a great temperament, and a metal ring with a two-foot-long metal chain. He touched the electric fence a couple of times when he first arrived, and that was that. Then, the electric fence shorted out. Wayne (the Dairy Dude) and J.R. (heir apparent) got Shorty back in with the cows in short order, but there could have been serious injuries. If you’re considering getting a bull for your small-scale family farm, here  are a few tips to keep you and your animals safe:

• Before allowing the bull to roam with the cows, have a veternarian put a metal ring through his nose and hang a good length of metal chain from it. If the bull tries to jump the electric fence, the chain will touch the hot wire and give him the shock of his life.
• The fight-or-flight distance to keep between you and the bull is 15 feet. If he’s out of control and less than fifteen feet away, it’s too late to run. That’s why people who handle bulls keep what we call “hog walloper” handy. It’s a 5-feet-long, 2-inch-diameter wooden stick. If you can’t flee, aim for the nose ring and swing hard. (Give a good, visceral holler while you’re at it.)
• The bull is not a pet. Don’t treat it like one, ever. Always keep your distance, and always keep the walloper in hand. Never, ever, let children pet a bull that you are going to put into service.
• Move the bull with the herd. Bring him in when you bring the cows in to milk. Have a stall for him near the door. Always let the bull out last.
• Don’t turn your back on an unrestrained bull, ever.
• Make sure to warn your dog that the bull might not be as friendly as the other farm animals. (I forgot to tell Miss Emma Barker.)

Shorty’s back in the pasture. He likes his routine which includes a few ounces of beer after the evening milking. (Wayne keeps a keg in the barn in a contraption he calls a kegarator.) Emma hasn’t been anywhere near the barn since her experience running with the bull.

Tags: bull-handling tips, care of a bull, handling bulls safely, ringing a bull's nose